I had a long moment looking at my laptop screen and thinking to myself what is it that made me slacking this few days. When suddenly I notice..it’s his presence that I miss so much. Sometimes we could just be together in total silence..no word uttered but still it’s a moment by itself. Yes that’s the reason as to why there is no jovial entry or something totally awesome or inspiring. I derived my inspiration from him!!!
I for once feel suffocated for not being able to portray myself independently. What has become to the women I was 10 years back?? I was a free spirited girl back then doing almost everything out of the book and a major headache to my parents. I wouldn’t want to caused more harm to my love ones but I used to be so self reliant.
Now I expected everything to be done by him including banking my monthly ‘duit kutu’ !!!. and during his absence..i go numb!! It is by far a trait I would like to inhabit and perhaps a little change of direction wont hurt anybody. It’s time I grow up again and take charge of something. The problem is..i have become complacent in my situation. A kick on the bu*t will do me wonders!!! Hahaha.