10 more days before the end of 'Ramadhan' and another year of 'syawal'. However, things are a lot different this year. I no longer have 8 pairs of 'baju raya' to parade in my blog. Yes indeed this is the toughest 'Syawal' for us. She's constantly in my prayers and everytime i say her name, i wud still shed tears. I cannot imagine the eve of 'syawal'..without her presence. Every year mom will make 'ketupat, rendang and kuah satay' esp for maksu. She will walk in the door and i can still hear her voice..'Mah datang' announcing her arrival to mom!! Ooohhh god..even making this entry is hard enough. I miss her terribly!!
I walk in the mall, with eyes wide open but a blank mind. I could not think of buying this n that without feeling the emptiness inside. If it wasnt for the kids, perhaps i wud just spend time indoors. I know life has to go on. In the future it will mean something but now, it's just a phrase that i hear now n then. Everyone has their side of story, i see people less fortunate just being grateful for what they have. I see things now that i was blinded and ignorant to before.