After my recent lost, i look at life differently. There's so much i wanted to do. One..i pray to be able to perform Hajj next year. If Allah swt permits perhaps it would materialised insyAllah. Second..i pray to be forgiven of my many2 sins. It's time to pay back all those debts, one way or another. Third..to do things i dont have time to do before, spend more quality time with d kids, be a good wife to my husband, be a good daughter to my parents, be a good muslim. Just covering up but not living the Islam way is no point too. Definitely less shopping for the unneccersary, less talk n more action.
I vowed to do it all, life is short. Only god knows when, where n how our time will come. For that make each day count. Balancing 'dunia' n 'akhirat' is my aim now. I am still the same person but i'm looking at life not quite the same way anymore. I always think to myself..when i am at the after life n be question of my purpose in this 'dunia'. What will be my answer to god?? Will the many designer bags that i acquired bring goodness then??? or the fancy cars and the big house be measured??? I cried thinking about it...i am so lost in my own world to notice the suffering of others. Yes..i used to say..if u have it flaunt it!!! Well..flaunt as much as i want it will not save me in 'akhirat'.
In other way..god works mysteriously, it is such a weird way of wakeup call for me. But i thank 'Allah' for making me realised it before it's too late. Perhaps, my way of writing will hurt others out there but no pun intended, this entry is solely mine..it is about me. Others may have their way of showing their respect n love to god. No doubt i'm no saint and just by writing this doesnt make me better than the rest. This is purely what my heart desire..All i wanted is to share and let this be a reminder if one day i lost my way..i will always remember this entry that i did. This is a promise to myself.