I dont know how to start this entry, i've been staring at my lappie screen and wondering the right way to say it. We lay her to rest this morning at 10 am. Finally she left us to meet her creator, the almighty Allah swt. My tears are cheap..they drop at every second and every thought of her.
I was at mom's place when we received the call from my uncle yesterday (22/7) at 3.30 pm. My heart cringe looking at mom sobbing. She has lost her only sister. She said she felt so alone, all i could do was nod and pretend to hear her words. I felt pain in my chest and suffocated, perhaps because i was crying so hard. I have never felt this kind of sadness i dont even know how to describe.
After almost 2 years of battling cancer, she passed away peacefully at the age of 47. For the past 2 months i've been her constant visitors. I listen to her cries of pain, to her rambling and her hope for tomorrow. Every now and then i utter words of courage, or perhaps lie. Told her she'll be able to walk outside the house soon, that she'll get better so that she can perform her 'umrah' again. So many dreams...
She's in good place now..i know she'll be among his many angels, my beautiful aunt is a good wife, mother and friend. Letting go is the hardest thing to do. Despite being reminded that she no longer suffer in this painful world..i am still selfish to want her to be with us. I pray to be forgiven for my sin. Rest in peace dear maksu..i miss u so much!!! Al Fatihah....
Datin Hajjah Asmah Bt Hashim